Whatever it is, one thing this pursuit for publication has taught me is I need to ignore my pride, or at least swallow it. And I need to stop confusing it with self confidence.
In fact, the two can be diametrically opposed.
- Pride makes me embarrassed I haven't got a contract from a major house, yet.
- Pride makes me want to avoid talking to non-writer friends and family about my writing. (My writer friends totally get it.)
- Pride makes people think writing makes me angry, when really, it makes me happy.
- Self-confidence keeps me going.
- Self-confidence keeps me positive.
- Self-confidence reminds me I'll reach my goals -- some day.
L'il C on SYTYCD often makes me a little crazy with his various prognostications.
BUT this week, in amongst all his crazy talk, unnecessary alliterations and misused words, was a gem:
Lack of self-confidence is the heaviest anchor you can put on your creativity.
I'd like to amend that, slightly, and say that pride can be mighty heavy, too.
Anchors away!
9 comments:
Pride is a hard one. I suffer with a lot of it myself. And the biggest thing about being writer seems to be letting go of your pride, or at least your ego.
You will make your goals!
I know what you mean. I always thought of this dichotomy as the burden of potential because--once we've reached a certain level of skill (in any area, not just writing) but haven't gone as far as we wanted--it's as though there's this increasingly heavier weight of expectation from others and from ourselves. And this fear that people are judging, even if they're not paying attention.
The only thing I've found to battle this is to convince myself that the game isn't real. Which I'm sure doesn't help. (She's advocating self-delusion?! Yeah... :)
Add into the mix that this is one crazy business!
I love lil c. Love him and his insanity - mary's insanity I've had enough of... we haven't even talked about SYTYCD - not to ignore the total importance of your blog post - but really...SYTYCD??>
Great post Maureen. I have a lot of the same feelings it's hard. Thanks.
Excellent post, Maureen. I get the whole pride and not wanting to talk writing with non-writer friends and family. They just don't get the glacial pace at which this industry runs and the hoops we need to jump through in order to reach our goal. They think you write a book and it's published. Oh yeah. If only.
Although, some people i know loved the idea of being a writer, tried it and gave up when they realised how hard it is - especially emotionally.
So, in a roundabout way, I wanted to say your post was 100% accurate and I especially loved your points about self-confidence getting you through. Nice work.
That is a gem! I'm hoping I have more self confidence than pride but I think it depends on the day.
Pride has wounded me several times on my writing. So cliche, isn't it? Writers wrestling with all of this, but it is SO true.
Great post on a relevant subject in this time
Post a Comment