Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Musings on confidence and killer deadlines

Confidence is such a funny thing. For me, it waxes and wanes with speeds that defy nature and logic.

Today, this hour, this minute, I feel pretty great. Book one in this new series has been cleared by my editor. Yay. And while I'm terrifyingly behind on book 2 (don't tell my editor. Oops, she sometimes reads this blog...) I feel pretty good about the story and where it's going. Sure, it won't be as super polished as I'd like it to be when she gets it in less than 2 weeks, but I'm pretty sure it'll be a coherent (and damn good) story. And I'm also confident I'll be able to do that polishing after I get her revision letter, a few days later. (Yes, this timeline is hyper accelerated. I honestly expect to get my revision letter a week, or less, after turning in the ms.) So, confidence high right now.

Just a few days ago -- hell, this morning -- I'd been so confused about how to solve a few technical details that I wondered if I'd have to scrap the entire book and start over.

I totally let my confidence in my abilities to solve these problems fade and it left me in a panic. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

I ran into my sister in law this morning by accident, she asked if there was anything she could do to help (grocery runs, cutting off my internet access) and I told her confidence was my biggest barrier to meeting this deadline right now. LOVED her response. She said she believed in me and reminded me she'd been telling me that for nearly four years, ever since I let her read one of my manuscripts. She said if I lacked confidence she took it as a personal insult -- me suggesting that she was wrong about my talent. LOL.

Thanks K. And thanks too, to CP's Molly and Sinead for pulling me down off a yet another ledge this weekend. Not only did they talk me through my plot issues, Molly kept repeating, "It's going to be okay. It's going to work out." In a sincere way that made me believe her.

Good friends and family rock!


out of the wordwork said...

When confidence leaves your family and friends don't. And as long as someone believes in you, eventually, you start to pay attention to them.

Like the Olympics keep telling us "Believe".

Glad you're believing in yourself. Now keep it that way!

Kristen Painter said...

I'm so glad you have such a great support system around you! All writers need that.

Amy said...

Kristen's right. We need that.

I've been talked off the ledge many a time in the past few months.

HUGS! You rock.

L.A. Mitchell said...

It's sometimes hard for us to listen to family and friends...they love us, right? I struggle with this, too, but you wouldn't have accomplished all you have w/o being a fabulous writer, too.

Sending all my good juju vibes north for you!! Write on...

Marilyn Brant said...

Maureen, you're where you need to be. This industry is crazy-making at times, but there's never been a doubt in my mind that you belong in the center of it ;). You've got your surf board and all the ocean waves...now it's just about staying balanced... I think you're doing really well!

Eileen said...

You CAN do this. Besides deadlines give us something to whine about when we're in the bar, which as writers we are required to do.

Nishant said...

Like the Olympics keep telling us "Believe".
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