Warning. Do not play this at work

Or around your kids...
Or around your elderly parents or grandparents...
Or around the parents of your kids' friends (if you don't know them well)...
Or if your minister or priest is over for tea...
Or if you're otherwise offended by copious amounts of swearing...

But I laughed so hard when my brother sent this to me, I had to share.

Tagged

Kristen Painter tagged me to play a game called 6 by 6.

"The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find the sixth image in your sixth image folder, and then tag another six people to do the same."



I have to admit I cheated... I have a lot of family photos on my computer and don't believe in a) posting people's pictures in public without their permission, or b) posting people's pictures in public without their permission. (I was sure I had 2 things when I started that sentence... It's late.)

But I'm sure Jasper would give his permission... He is such a ham and a total celebrity in his own mind... So there is my image :-)

As for tagging others.... Hmmmm...

Why doesn't anyone who takes up the challenge post here to let me know they've done it. (Kind of a cop out, I know...)

Mike White's on the Amazing Race!

How fun is that? I'm a big fan. He may be goofy looking. He may be gay (and therefore never my future husband). But great writers are sexy and cool in my mind.

And the dude who wrote both School of Rock and The Good Girl (and many other varied things) is on the Amazing Race! That rocks. I'm even willing to forgive him for Nacho Libre because the other stuff he's done is so fabulous. (Plus, I've been led to believe that perhaps I simply wasn't in the right mood (not drunk enough?) when I saw Nacho Libre. Perhaps I should give it another chance....)

Anyway, back to the Amazing Race. Hoping he and his Dad last for a while.

Meanwhile the hill-billy pair seem doomed and I just want to hug her and tell her to leave her scary-looking mean-as-hell husband. I'm only a third of the way through the episode, but have a strong feeling their first venture outside the USA is not going to last long...

Friday Nights In

When did Friday become the best night on TV? Have my tastes changed or has TV changed.

Used to be that there was absolutely NOTHING worth watching on Friday nights.

Now, between Friday Night Lights, Battlestar Galactica, Flashpoint, and now Dollhouse... who needs to go out?

And there are new episodes of the Sarah Connor Chronicles starting tonight, too... But sadly, I think I've missed an entire season right now, so want to wait until I can fill in the gaps.

Guest on DWT

I'm interviewing Florence Case on Drunk Writer Talk. Stop on by. There's a prize. :-)

I so don't do book reviews, but I'm willing to try

Hey, kids! Guess what? I joined a new club!
The Book Review Club, organized by the wonderful Barrie Summy.

Now, full disclosure: I'm not much of a book reviewer. Sure, I sometimes babble on this blog or on Drunk Writer Talk about books I've liked, and I do have critical discussions about books with my writer buddies and friends, but a full-on-official-type book review? Ummm... Not so much. I don't think I've done one since grade school.
However, regular readers of my blog will know how often I babble about movies -- and some people are generous enough to refer to those movie-babbles as reviews. This must be why Barrie thought I could pull off a book review. Won't she be surprised when some months I review movies instead of books for this club. 'Cause I'm a rebel. ;-)

But for this inaugural month, I figured I should do an actual book. Once I thought through the books I've read in the past few months, the choice was obvious: Barrie Summy's wonderful debut, I SO DON'T DO MYSTERIES, released in hardcover, by Delacorte Press in December 2008. Buy it here. (Okay, buy it anywhere, just buy it.)

I SO DON'T DO MYSTERIES is aimed at the middle grade reader but I think teenaged girls looking for a fun read would enjoy it, too. (Not to mention adults...) While I think many boys would love this book, given the female protagonist, and more significantly, the adorable graphics on the dustcover (and the bubble-gum pink cover under that) I think this book is mostly for girls. (or boys willing to pick up a book with a pink cover.) I also think it will be enjoyed by reluctant and avid readers alike. The fun, mystery plot and bright, bubbly, first-person voice are a delight to read. Granted I'm a little older than middle-grade (try middle-aged?) but I zipped through this book in one sitting. Fun. Fun. Fun. And my 10-year-old niece gave it her thumbs up, too.

Sherry Holmes Baldwin is a innovative and brave detective in the great tradition of her namesake Sherlock Holmes and probably more on point -- Nancy Drew. But while I loved the Nancy Drew books when I was young, I wish I'd had a series of Sherry Holmes Baldwin books to read instead. Sure, both Nancy and Sherry are bright, resourceful girls who get into and out of dangerous situations as they sift through clues to find the bad guy, but Sherry has something Nancy Drew never had -- Sherry is hilarious.

I laughed out loud so many times while reading this book it was slightly embarrassing. (Note to self: don't read Barrie's next book in public.)

Another difference between this and most mystery novels is the addition of a paranormal element. Sherry, her BFF Junie, and major crush Josh, are helped along the way by Sherry's late mother -- now a ghost -- who was a cop while alive, and also a detective in the afterlife. Sherry's also helped by her late grandfather, who has taken the form of a wren.

I loved this little touch of magic in the story, but what I most loved was that Summy didn't rely on magic or any supernatural ghost powers to solve the mystery. In fact, the ghost and bird had so many limits on what the could do, that Sherry was helping them, more than the other way around. Sure, her mother and grandfather play their parts, but solving the mystery and capturing the bad guy is all Sherry.

Along the way, Sherry and her mother get to discuss some of the issues they never had a chance to resolve before her mother's tragic death. But while these moments were emotional and touching, Summy never let them get too heavy or change the light tone of the story. (And I have to say the idea of her mother's ghost both smelling like and being attracted to coffee made me a little misty... as that's the scent I most associate with my own mother. )

Oh, and did I mention there are rhinoceroses, movie stars and an evil French Chef?
Um... Was I supposed to start with a summary? (I told you I wasn't a very good book reviewer...)

B'ah. You can read the summary on Amazon.

Confused about genres and subgenres?

Then read this fabulous summary on Lucienne Diver's blog. One of the best and most clear I've ever seen.

On other issues... Is anyone else enjoying Lost again? Actually, I must confess that even during that strange split season 3, this show never "lost" me.

I was also excited that the new season of Project Runway Canada started this week. For you Americans... it's the exact same format as the US one, except the host is Iman. Who I think does a way better job than Heidi Klum. She's smarter, more opinionated and although when she loves something she really loves it, she can be cuttingly mean. (And every time I see her on screen I can't help myself thinking, ten times a minute, she gets to sleep with David Bowie, she gets to sleep with David Bowie -- giggle.)

There's no Tim Gunn... Instead the mentor is a Canadian designer called Brian Bailey. He's okay... but no Tim Gunn.

Still, the first season "measured up" (Iman's catch phrase to kick people off -- "you don't measure up") to the US and UK versions. Especially since in the last season of the UK one, not only did a Canadian (living in London) win... another one of the top three was Canadian.

But the first episode of this season was such a let down. I thought it might be better/slicker since it was moved from the cable station Slice to the broadcast network Global. But not so far.

First, they've set this season in Ottawa. Really? Ottawa? To gain context... Imagine putting the US version in DC. (Ottawa is the capital of Canada.) Is it a fashion city? Does it make any sense? No. None. Maybe the production costs were cheaper or something? They set the first challenge at the War Museum. Really? Really???? The producers must be getting some serious grants from the government or something. Ottawa is a pretty city in places and at times... But it's like a small town with a few great buildings... And I expect the only fabric stores they have are Fabricland. (Cheap, horrible fabric in a sterile mall-like setting. Nothing like the cool fabric stores on Queen St. in Toronto where the contestants shopped last season.)

Setting the show in Ottawa is almost as strange a choice as setting the first season of Canada's Next Top Model in Victoria. (I assume that had to do with Trisha Helfer needing to be on the west coast to film Battlestar Galactica, but still... why not Vancouver? At least they were smart enough to move that show to Toronto in the second season (hosted by Torontonian Jay Manuel.)

Second, not one, but TWO of the designers cast in Runway Canada season 2 left the show during the first episode for medical reasons. One had a serious panic attack about 2 hours into the first challenge and the other guy -- well it was so clear taking one look at him that he was not physically up to doing a show like Project Runway... Not physically up to walking up a short flight of stairs. I feel badly for the guy but what was he (or the producers) thinking???

And as of now, I don't see any great personalities emerging. I guess it's early to make that call, (they guy who is trying to have a "catch phrase" will get old quickly) but last season's winner, Biddell, and a few of the others were interesting from day one. (If you go to his website, be sure to click on the lookbook. Some seriously cool photos and fashion.)

I'm hoping the season improves. Pout.

Everyone should read this. Seriously.

Editorial Ass: It Is a Truth Universally Acknowledged That an Individual in Possession of a Word Processor Must Be in Want of a Book Deal (or, What Would Jane Do?)

Especially:

a) struggling writers who feel discouraged

b) struggling writers who are whining and feel the world is against them

c) writers considering a contract with a publisher without any input on the contract from an agent or lawyer who understands publishing

d) anyone who loves a great blog post title

e) anyone who loves Jane Austen.

I also particularly enjoyed reading one of the comments, by poster Briane P. A veritable essay onto itself.

Ruminations on the Oscar Nominations

I was actually kind of excited to hear the Oscar nominations this year, after being pleasantly surprised by the Golden Globes broadcast -- both because it's so fun to watch the stars get drunk before getting onstage, and because I thought some really deserving films and performances were recognized.

But while this year's Oscar noms have some fun surprises -- Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder? Really? That's a joke right? No, it's not? Really? And did they just nominate Angelina and Brad so they'd show up? -- in the end I found the nominations kind of a let down.

Here's hoping the actual awards show doesn't disappoint me, too.

Perhaps my problem is that I've yet to see a few of the big nominated films. I know. Not like me. I've usually seen everything by the time the nominations are announced, but I've barely been to the movies the last couple of months. I do hope to go see both Benjamin Button and Milk this weekend.

Here are a few nominated films I really think you should see.

Frost/Nixon. Okay, perhaps not the most exciting topic or film ever... But if Richie Cunningham --I mean Ron Howard -- has one major talent as a director, it's in creating tension and suspense in films where the audience goes in knowing the ending. He did it with Apollo 13 and he did it with this one. And the performances in Frost/Nixon are pretty amazing. Although I'd be recognizing Sam Rockwell or even Rebecca Hall (who was also very good in Vicky Cristina Barcelona) as much as I'd recognize Frank Langella.

Slumdog Millionaire. I feel like a broken record here. I think this is at least the third time I've mentioned this film since I saw it back in September... But I was watching a non-local channel on TV the other night and realized that, while it opened in Toronto seven weeks ago, its only just now opening to a wider release. Go see it. Don't let the slum-setting or accents or the occasional subtitles scare you off. This is one of the most exciting, beautiful, fun, romantic, clever films I've seen in a long time. (Need to see it again.)

Revolutionary Road. Another one that's been open in Toronto for weeks, but has only recently opened up across North America. (Sometimes living in Toronto, rocks.) I'm actually slightly on the fence about this one. In the end, I actually think DiCaprio was miscast. I'm not sure I bought him in the role... I keep thinking about all these young actors in Mad Men and how I totally buy them as 1960's males... and then see a photo of the actors in real life, or acting in a modern-set show, and can't believe their transformations and am even more impressed. DiCaprio did not seem "of the times" to me... Maybe he just needed some heavy rimmed glasses. Or maybe it was a problem with the writing and the character being a little muddy. (Was he a frustrated artist or a frustrated laborer, pretending to be deeper to score the actress?) Or maybe he's so out of place and baby-faced in 2009 that he just didn't seem any different in a 1960's setting. Don't know. He was good (I think he's very talented, in general) but something just didn't feel right to me.
The ending of this film will tear your heart out, but it's a slow (albeit interesting) ride to get to that end, and I was left wondering for most of it... Is this just a bunch of character sketches or a story? (But it does wrap itself into a story by the end.)

The Wrestler. Again. I think I've talked about this enough already. Just go see the fraking thing.

Rachel Getting Married. Loved this movie. It's one I'd like to see again, too, because it seems to break all the rules of good storytelling, but I expect on closer inspection, I might find that it doesn't. That's the thing with great storytelling... you get so wrapped up in the book or film that you forget to think about things like structure or technique. There are quite a few scenes in this film that seem to be just conversations between characters that, sure, are filled with tension--this is a family with issues--but don't really seem to be going anywhere -- and then they do. (I'm thinking in particular of the dishwasher loading competition.) And it's great to see a film where the protagonist is a very unsympathetic character (Anne Hathaway who plays Kym) and where the backstory is revealed at just the right times (after we're really curious and either when we're starting to hate Kym and need something to make us feel sorry for her -- or alternately, when we're starting to sympathize with her too much and we need something to be appalled by -- to understand why her family treats her the way that they do). Also, the supporting performances in this film are amazing. I predict a big future for Rosemarie DeWitt (who plays Rachel) and was also the wonderful Midge in Mad Men. My personal favourite character from the first season of that show.

Films I still really want to see.

The Visitor. Can't believe I missed this one. It was at the 2007 TIFF and then playing at the Cumberland for most of the summer of 2008 and I got complacent thinking "I'll see it next week" week after week, and then it was gone. I hope I can rent it soon... I've heard such good things.

Milk.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (although I must admit that all the hoopla and nominations have made me want to see it less, for some reason)

Films I'm not that sure I really want to see.

The Reader -- I loved this book when I read it... But I feel zero desire to see it on the big screen. I think it's one of those stories that once you know the "big reveals"... you really don't want to experience it again. If someone's seen it, and thinks I should go.. Please let me know.

Films I think are getting more award noms than they deserve

Benjamin Button (How I come to this conclusion having not yet seen it, I do not know. ;-)

Doubt. I did see this one. And it's good. But is it THAT good? Not for me. (Although I did like it...)

Welcome, Jessica Andersen!

Last summer I had the pleasure of interviewing the fabulous Jessica Andersen, when the first installment of her Novels of the Final Prophecy series, NIGHTKEEPERS, was released. Today I’m thrilled to have her as a guest on the blog to celebrate the January 09 release of the second installment, DAWNKEEPERS.



Welcome Jess! And congratulations on the success of the series.

So, Mayans. It makes me wonder, how do you typically come up with your ideas? Characters first? Plot? Dreams? Divine intervention?

In this case it was a childhood vacation and a bit of divine inspiration. One of my most vivid early memories is being on a family vacation and climbing up inside the big pyramid at Chichen Itza to see the jaguar throne. People were packed nose-to-butt, crouched down in the narrow stairway, with everyone on the right side going up and the ones on the left coming down. It was dark and cold, the stones were slippery, and I’m claustrophobic. But dude, seeing the jaguar up close and thinking about the people who’d carved and worshiped it… that’s something I’ll never forget.

Years later, I was working on a suspense proposal that involved poisonous snakes, and had a total “ooh, shiny!” moment when I pulled up a website on Mayan serpent rituals. From there, I found a reference to how the Mayan Long Count calendar is going to end on December 21, 2012, coinciding with an astrological event that scientists think could trigger sunspots and magnetic reversals, and maybe even knock the earth off its orbit. And I sat there thinking: Holy crap, this is it. This is what I have to write about.

That is inspiration (and shiny). I know you’ve also written for Harlequin Intrigue. When and how did you make the leap to single title?

My first Intrigue came out in late 2003; my twenty-first comes out in a couple of months (SNOWED IN WITH THE BOSS 3/09). While working on the Intrigues, I kept submitting single title proposals that never really went anywhere, I think because I was trying to write a medical romantic suspense that was longer without really being bigger. It wasn’t until I stumbled on the Nightkeepers’ world that a storyline really grabbed me and demanded that I write it.

After finding the reference to the 12/21/2012 doomsday that inspired the series, it took me nearly eighteen months of in-depth research, worldbuilding, writing and re-writing before I had a strong proposal that not only had the cool 2012 doomsday concept going for it, but also had compelling characters, an intricate plot and a romance strong enough to pull off the concept.

Within two weeks of submitting the proposal to a select few agents, I signed with the wonderful Deidre Knight of The Knight Agency. I told her that my dream editor/publisher would be Kara Cesare at NAL, because of the amazing job she’s done with my critique partner’s stories (J.R. Ward and her awesome Black Dagger Brotherhood series). Within a few days of Deidre sending the proposal to Kara, NAL had pre-empted, and we were on our way!

What a great story. And I was so impressed by the depth of detail of the worldbuilding in these books. Can you tell us a bit more about your Novels of the Final Prophecy series?

The long and the short of it is that the ancient Mayan Long Count calendar ends on December 21, 2012. On that day, the sun, moon and earth will align at the galactic center, in a conjunction that some scientists predict could trigger cataclysmic upheavals (sun spots, magnetic reversals, etc.). The Novels of the Final Prophecy tell of the ancient Mayan myths that come to life in the last four years before 12/21/2012, and their opposition by the Nightkeepers, descendants of an ancient magic-wielding race sworn to protect mankind from the apocalypse.

In NIGHTKEEPERS, the last king of the magi is forced to team up with a Miami-Dade narcotics detective in order to reunite his scattered warriors and fight the gods of the Mayan underworld. Wielding ancestral magic based on bloodletting and sex, the king will have to choose between his duty and his love for the human woman who is the gods' destined sacrifice.

In DAWNKEEPERS, Nightkeeper Nate Blackhawk isn’t about to let the gods determine his destiny- especially when it comes to his feelings for Alexis Gray, his ex-lover and nemesis. But when they’re forced to work together, racing to recover seven antiquities before the demons get their claws on the vital artifacts, Nate and Alexis will have to face their feelings- and their past- in order to defeat a dire and ancient enemy.

WOW. Human sacrifice. Demons. The end of the world. Now that's conflict! You mentioned you’re critique partners with Jessica Bird/J.R. Ward. How long have you two been critiquing each others work and how did you meet?

JRW and I met through our local RWA chapter back when she lived in the Boston area. We kept in touch when she moved away, and when she was transitioning away from doing the series Jessica Bird books, she asked if I’d take a look at a proposal she was working on. She sent it to me, and it was hands-down fabulous. It went on to become DARK LOVER, the first of the Black Dagger Brotherhood books.

Since then, we’ve stayed in pretty close touch, reading each other’s stuff, talking about the industry and the marketplace, that sort of thing. We have very different styles and voices; I think that’s why we work so well as CPs… that, and because we have a really high level of trust with each other.

Great critiquing is all about trust, isn't it? Congratulations on getting the cover of Romantic Times! How was the photo shoot?

Dude, I had this horrible flu (I think they eventually named it Brisbane; you know it’s bad when it gets a name) on the day of the photo shoot, but I was up against the magazine deadline so I couldn’t put it off. I dragged myself into the salon where I usually go for my annual haircut , and threw myself on their mercy. They got me looking human and I dragged myself to the photog’s place (Julia Gerace; she’s amazing).

In retrospect, I think I was better off being feverish during the shoot. I just sort of zoned out, did everything she said, and didn’t bother feeling self-conscious. The pictures came out amazing, kudos entirely to Julia (and Dennis and Jill at Antenna Hair Salon).

Wow. You'd never know you weren't feeling well from the photo. Your inner-super-model really shone through. Are you a plotter or a seat-of-your-pantser?

Um… a little of both. Because the books of the FINAL PROPHECY series are interconnected (each is a stand-alone with a complete romance, but they add to each other within the larger save-the-world story arc) I definitely plan and outline prior to writing. For each book, I know where each of the characters and plot lines begins and approximately where each should end up, and I’ve got some major scenes and turning points sketched out. However, when I’m actually writing the story, I often find myself getting to a point where I’ve planned for something to happen, and realizing that because I’ve planned it that way, I’ve made it too obvious. I’m a huge fan of being surprised in books/movies/TV shows, and I’d like to give readers the same experience. Thus, when I get to a point where the next step seems obvious, that’s exactly where I say to myself ‘What else could happen?’ and go with that option as long as it makes sense with the character and situation. Life is unexpected, so as far as I’m concerned, stories should be unpredictable within the rules of the world.

That is some smart storytelling advice right there… **Maureen pauses to jot it down** What are your favorite books, movies, TV shows?

Books: anything by Suz Brockmann, JR Ward or Linnea Sinclair. Movies: anything current and loud, with a clearly defined hero and a HEA. Romantic subplot a bonus. TV shows: BONES and the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. Hands down, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Hubby is forbidden to speak to me during either of those shows, lest I miss something.

I LOVE Battlestar Galactica. And the final season has finally started! Yippee! So, what are you working on now? (In between episodes of BSG and Bones.)

I’ve just started the fourth book in the Nightkeepers’ series. The third, SKYKEEPERS will be released in August 09. Woot!

Fabulous. Can't wait to see how it all ends up, uh, if we all die in 2012, I guess. And now for the really hard-hitting question: Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate, definitely.

Jess, thanks so much for stopping by the blog. Everyone should visit Jessica's cool website at: www.jessicaandersen.com and NIGHTKEEPERS and DAWNKEEPERS, the first two books in the Novels of the Final Prophecy series, are on the shelves now.

The GG's

Just realized something. In Canada (in the literary world, anyway) the GG's means something entirely different... The Governor General Awards.

But I'm talking, of course, about the Golden Globes.

This is the first year since I started blogging that I didn't do a big post when the nominations came out. I just couldn't summon up any enthusiasm this year.

So imagine my surprise when the awards show was the most fun I've had watching an awards show in years.

Lots of fabulous gowns and great acceptance speeches, plenty of deserving nominations and wins, and some great accidental swearing and drinking on stage.

Highlights for me:

Mickey Rourke winning best actor in a drama. His performance in The Wrestler -- amazing. The director Darren Aronofsky giving Mickey the finger during the acceptance speech while a camera was on him -- fabulous. Mickey thanking his dead dogs. Priceless.

But seriously. You should see this film if you get a chance. I talked about it a bit here.

Colin Farrell winning for In Bruges. His acceptance speech was great. He looked great. And it reminded me what a great film this was. Come awards season, it's often hard to remember the great films that were released a year ago. Here's my year old post on In Bruges. Rent this DVD. You won't regret it.

Heath Ledger winning for Dark Knight. So sad. I cried.

Slumdog Millionaire winning a bunch of awards including best picture. Fabulous.

Don't let the Indian setting and some sub-titled bits scare you off. If this film comes to a cinema near you, go. You won't regret it.

What Would Emma Do?

One of my writer BFFs, Eileen Cook, has a new book out!!! In fact, it was released just before Christmas, but because I was so totally overwhelmed by traveling and then hosting a dinner for 20, and then traveling some more... I was a total slacker and didn't get a chance to blog about it until today.

If Eileen's first YA novel, WHAT WOULD EMMA DO? is half as great as her adult book, UNPREDICTABLE, then you will be blinded by its awesomeness. (Yes, I saw Kung Foo Panda over the holidays.)

Forget my babbling, here's the official blurbage:

Thou shalt not kiss thy best friend’s boyfriend…again….

There is no greater sin than kissing your best friend’s boyfriend. So when Emma breaks that golden rule, she knows she’s messed up big-time. Especially since she lives in the smallest town ever, where everyone knows everything about everyone else…. And especially because she maybe kinda wants to do it again. Now her best friend isn’t speaking to her, her best guy friend is making things totally weird, and Emma is running full speed toward certain social disaster. This is so not the way senior year was supposed to go.

Time to pray for a minor miracle. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s time for Emma to stop trying to please everyone around her, and figure out what she wants for herself.

And because who cares what I think... Here's what others are saying:

“Sassy and sly and sweet all at the same time, this book made me laugh out loud.” – Meg Cabot author of the Princess Diaries

“Not since Judy Blume’s Margaret introduced herself to God has there been such a funny, genuine, conflicted, wanna-be-sort-good-maybe-later girl as Emma. Eileen Cook’s tone as she takes on the big ones – life, love, faith and friendship is pitch perfect.” – Jacqueline Mitchard author of Deep End of the Ocean and Midnight Twins

“Smart and fun and full of heart.” – Sarah Mlynowski author of Bras and Broomsticks

Those are some impressive quotes and I must say, this book sounds amazing. It's moving to the top of my TBR pile.

Eileen's blog (if you've yet to discover it) is amazing, too. Check it out, here.

And then go buy the book. Now.

Oh, and Happy New Year! (Just a little late.)

Welcome, Greg Logsted!

I’d like to welcome debut author Greg Logsted whose YA novel, SOMETHING HAPPENED, was recently published under the Simon Pulse imprint. Looks to me like this book would make a great holiday gift for any teens on your list.

Greg and I (and his wife and daughter) all share the same literary agent. So, even though we've never met in person, it's like we're automatic friends. :-)

Welcome Greg. Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I remember my third grade teacher telling my parents she thought I’d grow up to be a writer. I loved that idea and unlike me, it never grew old.

Tell me a bit about SOMETHING HAPPENED.

SOMETHING HAPPENED is my first novel (Simon & Schuster, Nov 2008). Five months after his dad's unexpected death, Billy Romero is still struggling with the loss. Billy's mom spends more time talking to her Bluetooth than to him, and his best friend, Ziggy, just doesn't get it. There's no one who understands how alone Billy feels...except his new English teacher, the young and beautiful Miss Gate.

Miss Gate offers support and friendship, even giving Billy extra help with his writing outside of school. Billy isn't really sure how he feels about spending so much time with his teacher. It's a little weird, but it's also kind of exciting that someone like Miss Gate wants to hang out with him. But the closer they get, the more Billy wonders what kind of friendship this really is....

How hard was it to get into the head of a 13-year-old boy?

SOMETHING HAPPENED is a YA set in a middle-grade environment. I found it really easy to get into the head of a thirteen-year-old. Maybe because I loved being thirteen – it was just a fun and magical time in my life. Also as a writer you get the opportunity to look at the old as new again. You get a second chance to say all those things you wished you had said when you really were thirteen.

Yes, there are sure a few events in my 13-year-old life I wouldn’t mind revisiting with adult wisdom. What’s next for you?

I just finished my second novel ALIBI JUNIOR HIGH! It was a whole lot of fun to write. This one has a bit more action than my last. ALIBI JUNIOR HIGH, is about a thirteen-year-old boy, Cody Saron, accustomed to living a globetrotting James Bond lifestyle with his mysterious dad. Cody must suddenly learn to cope with regular school life for the first time after he's forced into hiding when a secret mission turns bad. He thinks after everything he’s done that going to a small Connecticut junior high school will be easy, a piece of cake…boy, is he ever wrong.

That sounds great. Nothing’s ever a piece of cake at that age, is it? What’s your #1 piece of advice for aspiring authors?

My best piece of writing advice is to find what works for you and stick with it. Everybody’s different. What works for one person might not work for the next. I like to read poetry before I write; it helps me focus on the importance of choosing and using the right words. I’m not sure that would work for everyone. What I do think would work for everyone is practice; it might not make you perfect but it definitely will make you better. Write every day. Write hard; live free.

Thanks so much Greg! And good luck with the book.

Zack & Miri (and Kevin) Make a Disappointing Film

I was really looking forward to Zack & Miri Make a Porno. I like Kevin Smith. I like Seth Rogen. I like romantic comedies and this one had such an edgy fun premise.

But it kind of sucked.

I've been trying to figure out why it fell so flat for me. In the end, I think it boils down to weak writing, bad acting and too much reliance on gross-out or stereotype-reliant humor. Re the bad acting: the two leads were fine. (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks) but the actors in many of the minor parts were horrible and, even in fairly small rolls, detracted from the film. Some of the minor characters were embarrassingly bad stereotypes. (particularly the Brendan Routh and Justin Long cameos as a gay couple.)

Casting (early 1980's underage porn star) Traci Lords as a porno actress is kind of funny (and stunt casting Lords worked for John Waters when he did it in Serial Mom and Cry Baby... but we expect bad acting in a John Waters movie (even when it's Johnny Depp). And the stunt casting didn't work here. Besides, Traci Lords is getting a little long in the tooth and it's been too many years since her infamous years as a porn star for the casting joke to be funny.

But beyond the stiff acting, (no pun intended), I think it was the writing that was the real problem. I liked the premise of two long-time platonic friends only figuring out that they were in love when they try to film a porno staring themselves... But it just didn't work. The characters were already so awkward and nervous around each other that we knew what was going on and the sex scene ended up simply being a let down. Either it had to have been a way better sex scene... or there should have been less obvious foreshadowing and they should have started out trying to do porn-style sex more convincingly that turned into somehting else. As it was, it was sex that started out awkward and just got more awkward, except maybe that they had a little meaningful eye-contact. Perhaps it was realistic... but I didn't want realism, I wanted a nice, emotional sex scene... It was a huge turning point for the film. Or should have been.

Then, the "black moment" and resolution were total cliche. A misunderstanding that a short conversation would have solved, followed by the eventual conversation, but only after a forced separation of 3 months. Any beginner writer of romance knows that doesn't work. There was no conflict between these two people except a misunderstanding. Beginner stuff.

Sigh. You'd think Kevin Smith could do better than this. He has done better than this. Jersey Girl was a half-decent rom-com with some real conflict.

On the upside... I found Jason Mewes (aka "Jay" from Kevin Smith's early movies) pretty funny (and disturbingly attractive) in this film. Perhaps my standards are lowering in my old age.

I So Am Going to Read This

My writer BFF Barrie Summy's first book hits the shelves today!!!

I SO DON'T DO MYSTERIES, Delacorte Press/Random House, Dec. 9 2008


I'm so excited for Barrie and anyone who wants a fun read, or who has a tween on their holiday gift list should run out to the store and get their hands on a copy!

It seems like yesterday that I got a phone call from Barrie telling me the good news that she'd received an offer for this book.

Congrats Barrie and good luck with the launch!

Auction for a Good Cause

Author Jo Leigh lost her husband this summer, and is sinking under the weight of the medical bills left behind. (More here.)

Some of her friends have organized an auction to help, with many great things on offer for readers and writers.



If you click on the icon, above, you'll get to more information on the auction.

A group of my fellow '007 Golden Heart classmates and I are offering multiple critiques of 55 pages of either an historical or a contemporary romance. Great deal, as you get more than one detailed critique, if you make the winning bid on one of these items. That is, the entire list of us will each provide a critique. 5 opinions on the historical and 6 on the contemporary. (The contemporary auction isn't up on eBay yet. More items will be added over the next few days.)

Of course, there are also editors and agents and other authors offering critiques, too. But just think... ours is five in one!

Buy yourself a Christmas present. Get one for your friends. Send your hubby to the site to buy something for you. :-)

Life on Mars

Is anyone else watching this show? It's the one where the premise is: a present-day car accident mysteriously sends a detective back to the 1970s. I think it's the only new show this year I've watched more than one episode of. The British version of this show is one I always meant to watch... but never did. Alas. Perhaps some day on DVD.

But I'm really enjoying the American one so far. (And it's yet another American TV series where the lead actor is actually British, well, Irish in this case, by birth... But he was in the Royal Shakespeare Company, etc.) The acting is good, particularly Michael Imperioli, late of the Sopranos, and the story is just interesting enough to keep me going. I loved the pilot and first few episodes. They set up lots of mystery around how this guy was suddenly 35 years in the past and some mind bending things happened. Then, just as I started to worry that they'd made it too obvious what was actually happening, and they were falling into the typical US TV trap of trying to stretch a premise that should have a finite end (the British series had 16 episodes) to a multi-year series -- they added a great twist this past week.

But other than the hunky lead actor, Jason O'Mara, and Michael Imperioli's completely believable performance, what I'm really liking is the music. And oddly, I've read a couple places, that the shows producers have been criticized for the music. People have said they're choosing "obscure" songs from the era. Okay. I beg to differ. I said I was going to stop publicly admitting my age... But I was old enough in 1973 to be somewhat aware of popular music, but not old enough to be listening to anything even vaguely avant guard. Hey, I'm not sure I'd even heard of FM radio at the time (but did carry around a small AM transistor radio I got for Christmas). The only song I've heard on the show that I'm not sure I actually had heard in 1973 was Life on Mars. I don't think North America (never mind Winnipeg) had caught on to David Bowie at that time. (I just Wikipediaed David Bowie and I'm right... Bowie didn't really hit the North American airwaves until 1975.)

All that disclosed, I've recognized and loved virtually all of the songs they've been playing on the show. Cat Stevens. Roxy Music. Bread. The Who. Five Man Electrical Band... Obscure? Only if Winnipeg AM radio stations had obscure music on rotation. Doubtful.

Swedish Dance Band Fashion (Circa the 70's)

This one's tame. Looks positively fashionable and sane after some of the others. To see more click here. Click on the link. Seriously. You'll pee your pants.

On blurbs...

Seems I'm destined not to make any original blog posts these days... Luckily, I keep reading great ones made by other people.

Check out these words of wisdom, from Lauren Baratz-Logsted on Red Room, about asking other authors to blurb your book.

I will blog again... After I get this book off to my agent. Assuming I ever do. :-(

Lazy linkage

Too busy revising to blog... But just saw a great agent interview posted on Susan Henderson's blog.

Check it out!

http://litpark.com/2008/10/29/dan-conaway-literary-agent-part-1/